By Don Boys, Ph.D.
Yes, I realize my critics will make much of this confession but it’s true. I have a hidden history of being sexually aggressive! There, I said it. The truth is available for all to know. And I have no excuse, or exoneration, or equivocation.
But I do have an explanation.
When I was in the third grade, I, well, I was somewhat indiscrete with Carol sitting in front of me. As she sat down after sharpening her pencil, I rubbed her bare shoulder and I got a quick response. I carry her imprint on my left knee to this day! She turned and jabbed me in the leg with a very sharp pencil driving the lead deep into my flesh. It is still there next to my scar from surgery for a football injury I received a few years later. I learned to keep my hands to myself! For a while!
When I was in the seventh grade, I was dancing with Nancy in her living room while her parents were upstairs. The music was playing and forgetting the experience with Carol, I got too free with my hands and Nancy pushed me through her storm door—her glass storm door. That was my last dance.
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That did it! I was convinced, and committed if not yet converted. I would never impose myself on a female again. Then, when I was converted to Christ and called to preach, I made the decision to not touch and hug the ladies and never to be alone with any unrelated female. I even expect a lady to extent her hand for a common handshake before I extend my hand.
Any man who assumes he has permission to be anything other than courteous, even chivalrous to a lady is a pig who deserves any punishment permitted by law. In fact, I have always believed that a rapist should be executed after a fair, fast trial! I introduced a bill in the Indiana House of Representatives that would require life in prison for rape with the stipulation that the governor could not pardon the felon or give him clemency. Everyone came after my scalp even my “friend” the Governor! He was angry because I was trying to limit his authority while almost everyone else thought I was mistreating rapists by the stiff sentence!
A reporter for the Indianapolis Star asked me why I chose the “extreme life sentence” for rapists and I replied, “Because I can’t get the death penalty!” That penalty would sure eliminate repeat crimes.
I am suspicious of any woman who admits to sleeping with a creep twenty years ago because she was young or was intimidated or was fearful of losing a job or was fearful of not getting a job or would hurt someone’s feelings! That is pure balderdash and won’t pass the smell test. Face it: if a male is an aggressor or rapist, then an unresisting, uncomplaining female is a whore.
The whole #metoo movement needs some parameters. There is a massive difference in introductory conversation with a female, flirting, harassment, hugging/kissing, and rape. The problem is too many people consider them equal infractions. Conversation, even casual flirting with a female is normal and a fact of life for thousands of years.
While it is true that many women have been harmed, almost destroyed by male aggressors, there may be an equal number of men who have been destroyed by angry, vengeful women helped by a bevy of avaricious attorneys.
Actor Morgan Freeman has been accused by CNN that he “sexually harassed or was inappropriate towards women.” CNN reporter Chloe Melas claims Freeman “was sexually inappropriate to her at a press junket” in 2017. One woman said she was the target of demeaning comments by Freeman while another said he looked her up and down and wished that he was in the television studio with her.” I don’t think looking a woman “up and down” or being “sexually inappropriate” are felonies. They are unmanly, ungentlemanly, and unpleasant but not unlawful. In my day, looking at a female, not necessarily with lustful intentions, was known as ogling or eyeing an interesting female. It was also known as gawking, gaping, gazing, or basically looking ridiculous while trying to make an impression.
Another woman charged, Morgan would “come over to my desk to say ‘hi’ and he’d just stand there and stare at me. (More ogling!) He would stare at my breasts.” Most people would agree that it is not illegal or immoral or illicit to say “hi” or even stare at a woman’s breasts. Maybe crass or crude.
CNN spoke to two male witnesses who each reported a separate occasion in which Freeman asked women to twirl! Wow, to twirl! And in public! Maybe I don’t know what it means to twirl.
At a party Freeman went up to women in the a circle and would “stand maybe within an inch of their face and just look them up and down and not say anything, and then would move on to the next woman and he’d stand like within an inch of their face and look them up and down and not say anything, and it was really, really strange.” Strange, silly, and stupid but not illegal.
Freeman described what an accuser was wearing during their first meeting, saying, “She had on a dress cut to here.” He added, “She wants to be thought of as serious but you can’t get away from the short dresses.” She was devastated! Maybe I’ve missed something and someone will explain what was illegal oppressive about that statement. Fact is, I agree with it! I don’t think any decent woman would wear a short skirt with a split up to “here.”
It was charged, “He’d say things like ‘I’d like to have an hour with her’ or make vulgar and sexual comments about women,” the former employee said. Furthermore, “He would be verbally inappropriate and it was just shocking.” I don’t think it is illegal to want to be with a woman for an hour and even the vulgar and sexual comments are not illegal although they would be disgusting, demeaning, and debasing.
Another charge is that he made women feel “uncomfortable.” Last time I checked, though undesirable, it was not illegal.
My wife worked for a major national bank when her boss kissed her on the cheek much to the delight of the office staff. She simply slapped him in the chops as his face flushed with embarrassment. That took care of that! It didn’t happen again. No cops, lawyers, investigators, prosecutors, or judges were involved. No money changed hands.
A woman should “put a man in his place” (and for the rapists, it hasn’t been dug yet) by not dressing like a street walker, being modest, never suggestive, and letting all know she does not come with a price tag. She is not for sale to any person, for any price, or for any promise and if a male pig crosses the line from simple flirting and general male/female banter to sexual aggression, she will give him a black eye or split lip.
That will solve all the harassment except for the most aggressive pigs. Jail should take care of the others.
Look, I am not an advocate for vulgar and aggressive men or rude and crude men; but the distinction must be made between what is illegal, indecent, immoral, and insulting. Morgan is not the kind of person I would want to have as a dinner guest but I will have to hear much more “evidence” than that above to get him fired or jailed.
But then, I too was a sexual aggressor. I was just younger than Freeman. Much younger. We must remember that there are truths and half-truths and while I was a sexual aggressor, that was not the whole truth. When reading of all the sexual accusations, remember you must know the whole story.
Beware of a half-truth; you may have gotten the wrong half.
Boys’ new book Muslim Invasion: The Fuse is Burning! was published recently by Barbwire Books; to get your copy, click here. An eBook edition is also available.
(Dr. Don Boys is a former member of the Indiana House of Representatives; ran a large Christian school in Indianapolis, wrote columns for USA Today for eight years; authored 18 books and hundreds of columns and articles for Internet and print media publications; and defended his beliefs on hundreds of talk shows. These columns go to newspapers, magazines, television, and radio stations and may be used without change from title through the end tag. His web sites are www.cstnews.com and www.Muslimfact.com and www.thegodhaters.com. Contact Don for an interview or talk show.)